By: Lime Green Giraffe Social Director, Avery B.
Raise your hand if dating is scary! Don’t worry,
I raised both of mine. No matter if it’s your first relationship or your
twentieth, it’s always intimidating opening yourself up and trusting someone
enough to start dating them. Never fear, the Lime Green Giraffe is here
to help! Here are a few important things to remember when it comes to dating.
1. You don’t have to say
yes
2. Wait for when you feel
ready
Our society likes to
tell us, girls especially, that dating someone makes us cool, it makes us
mature, it makes beautiful and desirable. That, my friends, is a big fat lie.
Dating is a big decision! And it’s something that can be overwhelming. It is a
serious commitment, and different people are ready to make it at different
times. No one but you can judge if you are comfortable and emotionally ready to
date someone, so no one but you should have a say in the matter. The internet,
Hollywood, your friends… the pressure is absolutely there. But you should wait
for when you feel ready. Another aspect of that is waiting until you meet the
right person. Never agree to date someone you don’t know well, you don’t trust,
or don’t have a crush on. As with tip number one, it’s always easier to say no
at the beginning.
3. Set boundaries
Even if you don’t think
you’ll be dating anyone anytime soon, it’s best to know your boundaries
beforehand. Both physically and emotionally, one of the most important things
about dating (as we’ve said above) is feeling comfortable. Making sure you
understand things you won’t negotiate about will make it easier to communicate
with your partner later. It’s always ok to say no to anything that you are not
comfortable with. It is your mind, your body, and therefore your decision –
they need to respect that. If they ever disrespect your boundaries, you should
leave them. If they don’t respect you, then they obviously aren’t anywhere
close to being good enough to date you. Additionally, make sure you're
respecting your partner's boundaries, too.
4. Don’t stress about it
Dating is supposed to
be enjoyable! It’s a close, special relationship where you get to spend fun
moments with someone you care about. Especially during your teenage years,
dating isn’t a lifetime commitment and should be something joyous, something
that makes you happy. It should never make you feel anxious, stressed, scared,
depressed, or anything else bad. Rough spots are expected – no relationship is
perfect. But if you can’t remember why you are dating that person in the first
place, it might be time to take a step back.
5. Don’t be afraid to
leave
As we mentioned above,
if this relationship turns into something toxic, or abusive*, it’s ok to leave.
At any time, if you don’t feel the same about the person anymore or you find
you like someone else, it’s best to be honest and upfront. Don’t trap yourself
in a relationship where you feel unhappy and don’t stay just because you feel
guilty. It is ok to break up with someone. As with rejecting someone, always do
it with respect and kindness, but don’t feel bad for putting yourself before a
dysfunctional relationship.
6. Don’t isolate yourself
Many girls, especially
with first relationships, devote so much of their energy into their
relationships that they have little to spend with their family and friends. It
is so important not to push those people away. They cared for you before you
started dating and they’ll be there after the relationship is over. Isolating
yourself can lead to a toxic or
unhealthy relationship and it isn’t a good thing for anyone. Spend time with
your friends and family; your relationship can wait for a few hours.
7. Communication! Is!
Important!
Above everything,
communication is the key to a healthy, strong relationship. Being honest about
your opinions and feelings will make sure you both are on the same page and can
save you some awful misunderstandings. It’s also important to talk about both
the good and the bad in your relationship. Maintaining a balance is vital; too
much of the positive, and you could accidentally ignore some big problems.
Focusing on too much of the negative can cause you to forget why you’re even
dating in the first place! Always be real and open in your relationship, and it
will make everything easier.
I hope these tips helped! Dating can be
intimidating, yes, but when you make sure you’re comfortable and happy, it can
be a great thing.
* Note: If you think you or someone you know
might be in an abusive relationship, ask for help or check out http://www.loveisrespect.org/
for information and resources.
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