Saturday, August 1, 2015

Ask GiGi

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Dear GiGi,

My best friend is moving to another state in a few weeks. We’ve been friends since I was seven, and I’m really, really going to miss her. Is this going to be the end of our friendship? How do I keep in touch? What do I do?

Signed,
The End?

Dear The End,

Having a friend move away is tough. And sometimes, when a friend moves away, you do lose touch and the friendship just sort of ends. But, while it takes a fair bit of work, sometimes, you can still stay friends no matter how far away your bestie moves.

One of the hardest things about having your best friend move away is the fact that you’re not going to see each other as much. But that’s where keeping in touch comes in, and in the age of technology, you have a lot of options. You can write her a letter, or send her a postcard. You can call her or text her. You can email her. You can send her a message on Facebook or Twitter.

Another hard part is the fact that you’re kind of feeling both happy and sad at the same time. Because on one hand, you’re happy for her, she’s starting a new chapter in her life. But on the other hand, it’s a chapter that doesn’t have you in it.

Make yourself a scrapbook of things you guys do or did together. Put in pictures, ticket stubs and little mementos of your friendship. Anything to remind you of the good times you shared.

If you can, set up a date to come and visit her in her new house. She’ll be glad to see you!

Smiles,
GiGi


Dear Gigi,
I’m having a serious friendship crisis! I have two very close friends, but they don’t like each other very much. I used to only hang out with one friend at a time, but recently we’ve all been spending time together. I really thought that my friends would like each other, but instead, they hate each other! Now, one friend only talks about how mad she is at the other friend. Every time they argue they want me to take sides, and decide which person I like most. I hate being stuck in the middle. I don’t want to choose who I like more because I like them both equally! I really want my friends back, but with my birthday coming up soon, and I’m worried they will all start another argument! What should I do?
From,
Possible Peacemaker
           
Dear Possible Peacemaker,
This is a very tricky situation! Your friends obviously care about you, but their anger seems to be getting in the way of your friendship. Your friends may need to know how much the arguing bothers you. Tell them how you feel, and how much you value them both as friends. They don’t need to be best friends, but ask them to try to get along.
As for being stuck in the middle of arguments, tell them that you care about them both equally, and that you do not want to choose. If they are truly your friends they should understand how much it hurts you to see them fight.
When you are with both friends at the same time, try to act as a buffer between the two. Try not to let one or the other feel left out, and do things you all enjoy. Friendships can be tricky, but being honest about tension between your two friends may help them get along.
Good luck,
GiGi


Dear GiGi,
Over the past year or so, my friends and teachers have been saying that I’m an introvert, or that I express introvert-like qualities. I’m starting to get the feeling that being an extrovert is better. Is being an introvert ever a good thing?
From,
Extrovert Wannabe

Dear Extrovert Wannabe,
Being an introvert does not mean that you’re necessarily shy, cowardly, or nerdy. In fact, it doesn’t have to mean any of those things at all! Introverts have many positive qualities, like the fact that they’re self-reflective, independent, creative, flexible, and a whole lot more. It might be a relief to know that you’re not alone, with nearly half of the U.S population falling under the introvert spectrum.
But you don’t have to be an introvert if you don’t want to. You can be, and act, and do whatever feels comfortable to you. If what you want to do seems more like what an introvert would do, embrace it! No matter what you are, you are special. And don’t let anyone tell you differently!
            Thinking before you act and being able to create lasting relationships are two of the many great things about being an introvert. Two good things about being an extrovert are that they are socially active and can easily entertain themselves and others. But maybe you’re wondering what happens when you fall in between. This is perfectly acceptable. A lot of people fall in this category, the middle of the spectrum called ambiverts. These people tend to go back and forth between the two sides of the spectrum, so maybe when your friends and teachers see you and how you act, you might be more like an introvert, but in other situations, you act more like an extrovert. Therefore, you could be an ambivert!
            Just remember, “introvert” is neither a label, nor should it be a stereotype. It is just one side to a large spectrum of different personality traits. If you’d like to find out a little more about who you are, click Here or Here for two different quizzes that might help you find where you are on the spectrum and whichever side you land up on, you’re always going to be amazing!
From,
GiGi


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