Saturday, August 11, 2018

Ask GiGi: Words of Wisdom

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Answers From GiGi (The Giraffe) 

Hey GiGi 
How do I get more comfortable with texting? I am so scared to be the first one to text. 

Hey Yourself! 
First of all, there is nothing wrong with being the first person to text. It shows that you’re self-confident and independent and this makes it a power move of sorts, if you think about it. A simple “Hi!” or “What’s up?” is excellent for a first text, because they’re both very casual and don’t betray any intention or commitment that you may harbor in contacting this person. If you’ve just given someone your number, “Hey, it’s [your name] from [place you met]. What’s going on?” works too.  

Give this person about a day to text back before you make any assumptions. If they don’t reply within 24 hours and you can’t think of any reasonable excuse they may have for such behavior, then that person might just not be a person who texts.  
If they text back, game on! Text someone how you would talk to them in real life. It’s that simple. The cool thing about texting is that it gives you the time to really think before you “speak,” so you’ll probably sound extra-clever and more well-spoken.  

GL (Good Luck), 
GiGi 

Help! All of my friends are in couples and I feel so left out...What do I do? 

Hey Help! 

Don’t panic too much; there comes a time in everyone’s life when they feel on the outskirts because they’re single.  

In order to feel more included, my primary suggestion is that you start asking your friends to hang out one-on-one. If many of your friends are girls, see if anyone wants to get together for some girl time. This could be an almost-automatic “yes,” because girl-friend time is undeniably enjoyable. I know very few people including this giraffe, who would pass on it.  

Secondly, you can try to make yourself the confidante of each of your friends who are involved with somebody else. I’m not saying force them to spill their secrets, just make sure that they know that you’re a trustworthy listening ear. Once you know what’s going on with all of them, you’ll feel a lot more included, and you might be able to give them some good advice. 

Most importantly, be supportive. Hopefully, your friends are super happy in their chosen relationships. Be happy for them because you know that you would want the same. And if they aren’t happy, be the shoulder they need to lean on, because again, you would want the same if your positions were reversed. 

Remember that as you get older, this particular situation is going to change multiple times. Right now, you’re the only one not in a relationship. Maybe next year, you’ll be one of the people with a partner. Maybe the year after that, you’ll all be single. The longer life goes on, the more experience you’ll get and that will help you become more adept at navigating this particular set of circumstances.  

You’ve got this! 
GiGi 

What should I do about overprotective parents? 

Hello! 

This must be really frustrating for you. If you consider yourself to be a responsible person, but your parents continue to place unreasonable and/or embarrassing restrictions on you, then maybe it’s time to have a chat. Be mature, and tell them how you feel. Speak in a clear voice, maintain eye contact, use “I-statements, and most of all, show them that you are someone whom they can trust to conduct themselves in a fitting manner out there in the real world.  

Remember, this is a conversation. Ask why they feel the need to treat you in such a way? If what they say doesn’t apply to you, then contradict them in a respectful manner. If, however, they make a valid argument for a certain rule then attempt to compromise with them, to change the rule in a way that doesn’t negate its existence.  

If your parents absolutely refuse to consider anything that you say, no matter how maturely you present it, then tell them (RESPECTFULLY) that you feel like they’re being very unreasonable and need to reconsider their point of view.  

Above all, and I cannot stress this enough, be mature and respectful when having this conversation, because if you aren’t, that will only justify their treatment of you even more so.  

If all of this fails, keep following the rules. You can become more involved in activities outside of the house. Sign up for cool, but responsible things at school or in the community that would force them to give you more leeway.  

May the Force be with you. 
GiGi 

What do you do if you don’t like your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? 

Hi! 

I think that you should tell your friend how you feel and why, because chances are, you have a pretty good reason for not liking this person. If you’re close enough friends, they’ll probably value your opinion and trust you enough to really consider what you’re saying. Maybe they’ll break up with this person, if it’s that bad, maybe they’ll sit down with them and have a serious talk. Maybe they’ll have a viable explanation or maybe they’ll just brush you off. 

If this last one happens, maintain your opinion but back down from having an argument, because you don’t want to sacrifice the friendship. Ask to hang out with your friend one-on-one and avoid being the third wheel in any given situation. 

Most of all, support your friend, offer them the best advice you can from your perspective, and trust your gut. If your positions were reversed, you would probably want someone to do the same, in hindsight.  

Best of luck! 
GiGi 

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